Is It Just Us…

Or was ‘kinda bridal-y’ a trend at the Globes on Sunday?

It could be that there was so much white/nude/cream on the red carpet that it started to feel like a bridal fashion show, or maybe the fact that both Steph and I really love a wedding and most especially a wedding gown. Whatever the reason, we feel like we got a peek at what some of  Hollywood’s hottest ladies might look like if they were headed down the aisle this year. For some of them it was a roaring success (Julie Bowen), and for some of them, well, hopefully they get it right on the real big day (we’re looking at you Jessica Biel).

Come with us, won’t you, to the most fabulous episode of Celebrity Say Yes to the Dress ever (Yes, we know that’s not a real thing, but I think the real question here is: why isn’t it? TLC, get on that. I won’t even ask for credit. Getting to watch Britney Spears and J.Lo pick out their dresses will be reward enough)

Here we have the lovely Julie Bowen doing awards show and bridal right.  It’s floaty, it’s romantic, it’s pretty. It also seems like you could really wear this dress and go on living your life. No train, not too tight, it’s got sleeves so you’re assured your boobs won’t just fall out. Glorious

Moving along…to Jessica Biel, who as everyone from God to The Fug Girls (who, by the by, we aren’t fully convinced aren’t one in the same. Have you ever seen a fug girl and God in the same room? Hmm?) have  noted looked like she was doing her best Mrs. Havisham impression. Maybe there’s a Great Expectations remake in the works we don’t know about?

Elle MacPherson looking like a very special edition Bridal Barbie. Barbie loves her some frilly mermaid skirts, yo.

Kate Winslet shows us all what Wallis Simpson should have, and probably wanted to get married in. No one tell Madonna. I don’t know why exactly but I feel like this insinuation would make her mad, and we do not need any more self important speeches from Madge.

Sarah Hyland as the most adorable child bride ever. Seriously, she’s 21, but she’s just so little  and pretty that  I always feel like she must be the most put together 14 year old ever. I’m sure when you’re youthful and perky getting told how cute you are gets really old and you just want someone to see you as a grown up with valid opinions and thoughts, right? I’m sure Sarah is a well adjusted intelligent adult type person, who also happens to be cute beyond words. I hope that’s enough of a compromise, Sarah.

Charlize Theron as 1920’s bootleggers bride. The purchase of this Dior was made possible thanks to a few brave souls who had the guts to stand up in opposition to the Noble Experiment*.  Please note that all night I thought this was white. I thought it was white until I loaded this picture actually. But now that I’ve gone to the trouble of thinking up bootlegging jokes and loading the picture, it stays.

Jessica Chastain. I can’t even. I think I hate this more than the curtains on Jessica Biel, and I hated that thing a lot. I believe her hair is making it worse. As are her lopsided breasts, though I think that might just be a bad angle.

Kate Beckinsale is another lady who is so beautiful and seemingly fun and normal that she makes me nervous and feel awkward-er than usual. So, anyway, here she is looking picture perfect. However, the pointyness of the top of the bodice isn’t exactly my favourite thing ever. Oh sweet justice! An imperfection!

*No I won’t apologize for obscure historical references.

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One response to “Is It Just Us…

  1. Pingback: Memo to Celebrities: Stop wearing white dresses « Pop culture. Style. It's an obsession.

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