Always a Bridesmaid

As you may have heard, Laura is getting married soon. Really soon actually. I can tell it’s getting closer by the number of times a week day I get an email with an excel spreadsheet attached or a picture of her photo-shopped into a new sash or pair of earrings. It’s the worst adorable.

This is my 4th time up the aisle (should have been my 5th, but that is a story for another post) so, I’ve got this down by now. People seem to love to bitch about being a bridesmaid, and I always find it strange. First, aren’t these people you’re doing this for your closest friends? If they are complete bridezilla, egomaniac assholes then maybe you need to reconsider the kinds of people you’re friends with. Or maybe you too are an egomaniac asshole – you know, birds of a feather and all that.

Second, you understand the completely voluntary nature of bridesmaidery, right? If you can’t stomach the idea of throwing a shower, or wearing a dress you maybe didn’t pick, or helping your friend drunkenly pee at 1 am because her organza tulle princess ball gown is totally not urination friendly, then just don’t agree to do it. There are a number of ways to bow out gracefully. You can site finances, scheduling conflicts, a satin allergy. Or, and this is the crazy one,  if this person is really your friend, you could be honest and say that while you love her and want to be a part of her day, you just know you’d be a shit bridesmaid and don’t want to put that strain on your relationship so, ‘no’.

Anyway, I love a wedding so I always say yes. Literally, if you called me – yes, you Internet stranger who is potentially just trying to lure me to a basement to kill me – and asked me to be in your wedding I would probably at the very least consider it. Such is the pull of the nuptial ceremony. I just like it. I like getting dressed up, I like the anxiety and excitement of the morning, I like drinking a mimosa in a limo or party bus, I like taking pictures and dancing all night. Annnnd I guess I like the idea of people taking a meaningful vow to love each other for ever and ever amen.

Laura’s wedding has been a bit different than the others I’ve stood in. Previously, everyone was local, if anything I was the sole out of towner. So there were always a bunch of showers and parties and gatherings leading up to the big day. Which is fun, but somehow not having all those little meet ups before hand is making the big day here feel bigger. Laura’s bridesmaids and old friends and both or their families are spread across the country and over seas so they haven’t had the opportunity to have a lot of the other celebrations. Which, I’m sure has made her a little sad. But in a more positive light this lack of lead in gatherings will mean that Laura and James’ wedding day won’t just be the thank God it’s over culmination of a bunch of other parties and celebrations, it will be the party and celebration. 

Also, we get to pick our own dresses! There are a few guidelines: Black – because how easy/classy/awesome is that? We must also be able to wear a longish dangley pendant she got us as a gift – because awww, presents! And don’t look like a whore in it – because she didn’t really say that, but I feel like it’s implied. I’m going to America next week to look for dresses. I’ll be bringing along my oddly compliant and fashion savvy boyfriend; we’ll take pics.

Below please find me in my previous bridesmaid attire. Please, feel free to post shots of your own shame um, joy in the comments. Please note that these are two different weddings, three years apart. And, yes, they’re both chocolate brown. Also note that there are literally zero pictures from my sisters wedding that aren’t completely humiliating, so, Internet, you don’t get to see those.

andy and dereks wedding 106

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Pasta and Cheese, Rejoice!

Last night may have just been boring Wednesday (Hump day! Less boring, right?), but it was the best night of my week because our favourite restaurant, Toscana re-opened after renovations! We hadn’t been since before Christmas so I was long over due for the Fried Manchego Cheese and Agniolotti. I have either personally eaten or dined with someone who has eaten almost everything on the menu and I’ve never heard a bad review. The service is great, the atmosphere is warm, dim and relaxed and they’ve got great wine and cocktails. Basically, it’s perfect. If you’re anywhere near Detroit or Windsor, I’d definitely recommend stopping by. Chef  Jonathan Reaume has earned a reputation as one of the areas best. Go ahead, make reservations!

I meant to take pics of my food and outfit. But I forgot. It was crazy busy and I was excited. Also, I’m a bad blogger. I promise to be much better in the future.

Review: Essie Luxeffects – A Cut Above

Full disclosure here – I’m normally not a glitter polish fan. But I couldn’t resist this beautiful pink glitter from Essie. A cut above is described by Essie as a Shattered Pink Diamond Glitz.

Image courtesy of Essie

The polish itself is octagonal pink glitter suspended in clear polish with smaller pieces of round pink glitter. I also found that there are tiiiny red pieces of glitter that flash occasionally. You could wear the polish on its own, or layered over another polish (the luxe effect, I presume!). Essie recommends layering it with wicked, a blackish-plum, or neo-whimsical and poppy art pink, both lighter pinks.

For this week’s manicure I layered a cut above over Essie’s penny talk, which is a metallic rose gold. I got fairly full coverage with two coats of the polish, but three was pushing it in terms of thickness. I also applied two coats of a topcoat, which I found was necessary to smooth down the glitter. With the topcoat, the polish is a little gritty but smooth enough that it won’t snag on clothing. I’ve heard that removal is difficult but so far I haven’t had to try it out – it has peeled off on its own so far. Lucky me!

(Click to see it larger. And apologies for the crappy pictures. I was chasing the light and this polish is HARD to capture)

You could also use this polish as an accent only on your ring finger, as I did here, or on your thumb. I got the idea from Pinterest, and it seems even the fashion mags are getting into it now.

Paired with Essie’s Penny Talk

(Click to see it larger)

Overall, I love the polish. It is a nice touch if you want to accent one nail, and it is beautiful layered over another polish. It’s glitzy, but not discoball shiny, so it is work appropriate (at least at my work. If you are a surgical nurse or a corporate lawyer, it’s probably not going to fly). The formula is pretty good to work with, it is thick but not so thick that it is difficult to apply. Just a wee bit goopy – not enough to make it a problem. You can achieve opacity with two coats.

I would classify it as a re-buy, and I’ll probably check out the other colours in the Essie Luxeffects range.

You can pick up Essie polishes at drugstores between $8-$10 dollars.

We were not compensated for this review

Leopard Girl

I went to see Dark Knight Rises this past week. For whatever reason, even though its two (or in this case 3) hours spent in a darkened room where there is absolutely no reason that anyone would be looking at you, I like to look cute at the movies. Maybe afterwards you’re going to get a drink with some friends, or go for coffee and discuss the nuances of the film. Maybe you’re going for a romantic walk along a waterfront? Listen, I don’t know what you’re doing after movies, but you might want to look cute. Plus, I have a decades old crush on Christian Bale and I feel like I should respect that by dressing appropriately.

Anywho. Here is what I wore.

Batman

I used to shy away from animal prints. I didn’t think I had the personality or confidence to pull it off effectively. But this summer I invested in some snake skin bangles and this tank. It turns out either I got some new confidence I wasn’t aware of or it doesn’t actually take confidence to pull of animal prints. What it takes is taste. Keep it subtle and clean and animal prints are classic and chic. I felt great.

Also, Dark Knight Rises was great. Christian Bale, as always, is wonderful as the troubled billionaire Bruce Wayne. He really is ‘the best of us’. Michael Cain is touching and his relationship with Bruce reaches an emotional climax. Tom Hardy as the villain Bane was, in my opinion, the most real and truly scary adversary The Batman has faced in this trilogy. Plus, he had a really cool coat. Anne Hathaway is gorgeous and lithe in killer heels, even if I didn’t always buy her as an ass kicking cat burglar. The film comes highly recommended. As does going to the movies in cute outfits that just a few months ago you would have been scared of.

We’re Back!

Oh, um, hey you guys. Did you think we forgot about you? Don’t be ridiculous. We could never forget you. We just needed a little time a part so we could remember how much we love you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.  But, now we’re totally back and committed to writing hilarious posts about fashion and pop culture and our lives. What’s happened since we last talked, hmm? Let’s see…

  • This season of the Bachelorette is the most painfully boring thing reality TV has ever offered us. Google says so. Seriously, no one (no one) loves a trashy reality show like us and we both quit watching. I mean, Emily didn’t even do the fantasy suite right.
  • Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge wore this. And this. And also this. They’re all, eh, fine, I guess. I must say I’ve been a little bored with her choices of late. I still love her though. Plus, I’m sure she’d be just gutted to know that I’m bored. She has literally nothing better to worry about. Also, photos of their honeymoon have surfaced. While I love to be a voyeur, this does seem a little weirdly invasive, so I won’t post the link. Let them have some frolic on the beach time, GEEZ.
  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. And now there is an epic billion year battle to the death to save her soul from the Sea Org…Or something?
  • There’s a new Kardashian! And it’s a girl! And her name doesn’t start with a’ K’. (Really it’s a Disick, but whatever)

That’s um, pretty much it right?

Stay tuned for more on my 1970’s wedding. I made a choice. By myself. Like a grown up. Am still very concerned that it’s the wrong decision.

Strawberry Margarita and Cognac

So, yeah. I haven’t been around much recently…and for what, I am sure you are asking. WHAT HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US FOR? Weeell. The gym. Yep. It turns out it is reaaaaally hard to travel every weekend, go to the gym three times a week, and also run errands (you know, silly errands like buying groceries and going to medical appointments).  At least for me…I was so proud of myself when I actually went to the grocery store after the gym on monday night.  That right there is what a motherfucking adult does. I felt so proud typing it into twitter. I went to the gym. And then afterwards took public transit and procured food for the week. I even had a list.

Since the last time I wrote:

1. I decided that I hate my entire wardrobe and have been systematically dismantling it. There is an incredibly large pile of clothing on my bedroom floor. Replacing it hasn’t been going so well.

2. I found the perfect summer nail polish colour – O.P.I.’s Strawberry Margarita.

3. I bought a brown purse. I know. AM I FUCKING KIDDING!? No. I bought it. It’s brown (although I call it cognac because while I’m not okay with having a brown purse, I am okay with carrying something around that is the colour of booze. It’s my booze bag. Look, I never said I was a rational human being )

I’ll be back later in the week with more nattering about purses and my dwindling wardrobe!

I’m Sorry To Do This To You Again…

But, I have another wedding to go to, and this one is a doozy. It is well documented that we both love a wedding. However, I don’t really know how I feel about the heavily themed wedding. It’s a princess theme and everything is pink, and glass carriages and castles? Ew. It all just seems sort of heavy handed and unnecessary and odd. I can get behind colour schemes and recurring motifs. But to dedicate yourself to making sure every element of your wedding commits to some detached theme is just…I don’t know, icky.

The wedding I’ll be headed to in July is a 1970’s theme. Not only do I find this troublesome because of the appearance of a theme at all, but the 1970’s is truly the last decade I would like to see emulated. I can’t really think of a single of my personal fashion icons who looked amazing in the 70’s. The movies, the music, the television, none of it has every really spoken to me. So, dear readers I need you to help me figure out how I can comply with the theme (I’m not a complete wet blanket. I can see the fun here, I want to participate) while still being fashionable and true to me. I want to still feel comfortable and not feel like I’m wearing a costume.

Here, some things from the 70’s I can stand.

Things from the 70's I can stand

Top Row L to R – Allie McGraw, Vogue Magazine, Bianca Jagger
Bottom Row L –  to R Liza Minelli, 70’s bike girls – one with rooster t-shirt (!), Farrah Fawvett

So, where in the world does one go to find a modern, but somehow 1970’s inspired dress?! HELP!

God Save the Queen – And her wonderful hats

Diana and Kate. Grace and Margaret. Even the infamous Wallis Simpson are undisputed Royal fashion icons.  But Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II doesn’t, as far as we’re concerned, get the credit she deserves. Maybe it’s because as the monarch of 16 nations and head of state 54 more, she seems too serious a figure to reduce to a mere celebrity.

To fawn over her fashion doesn’t seem befitting someone of her stature. As modern feminist type women, we certainly agree Her Majesty is one important, inspirational, powerful woman. She is also a lady of pretty great style. She catches some heat for her tendancy to ‘matchy match.’ And of course her current style is a little more mature than most of us would want. But please keep in mind, homegirl is 86. Back in the day she was right on point. She’s doing senior fashion now, and I think she’s doing it right. Colourful and modest. She always looks like she’s in charge. And there is always always a hint of sparkle, bling, brocade, or jewels (truly, her jewels are fabulous). A lady after our own hearts.

In honour of Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee celebration that has been happening over the last few days, this is our own celebration of one of our icons. Oh, and because it’s fun…Hats!

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Pops of Neon

Irene and I were talking the other day and she informed me that she finally found a sheer black blouse, after searching for one for an entire year! Yay for her! I told her she needed to immediately pair it with one of her many cobalt coloured items (seriously, girl is addicted) and then I had a brainwave – NEON.

Neon is a huge trend this summer (see here, here, and here). For those of us born in the early 80s (myself anyway) it brings back a huge wave of nostalgia- who didn’t have a neon Lisa Frank notebook, one of those neon shirt clips with rhinestones, neon laces for your hi-tops, or those spandex leggings with neon stripes down the sides? Bonus points if you wore it all at once like me.

I love neon. LOVE. I don’t want to wear a whole neon shirt though….that is just not kind to my almost 30 year old face. So when Irene was like ‘ooh yes, cobalt pencil skirt and sheer black blouse’ I commanded her to “ADD A NEON BELT! DO IT! DO IT!’  She stopped texting me after that point, but I love it. Adding pops of neon is fucking hot, it’s a grown up way to add neon to an outfit, and it might be a little more flattering on us folk who wore it the first time round.

Pops of Neon

See? That is hot. Imagine wearing this little outfit some steamy summer night. With lots of black eyeliner and nude lips. IRENE, ARE YOU LISTENING? 😉

I’m Adorable

It’s raining like crazy here, and is colder than it’s been all week (it’s still 18 degrees though), but to make myself and everyone around me feel better I’m wearing this today:

polka dots

Polka dots! Bows! Bright Red Shorts!
I’m adorable, is what I’m saying. And I thought you all should know.

Tweedley tweedley tweets