Always a Bridesmaid

As you may have heard, Laura is getting married soon. Really soon actually. I can tell it’s getting closer by the number of times a week day I get an email with an excel spreadsheet attached or a picture of her photo-shopped into a new sash or pair of earrings. It’s the worst adorable.

This is my 4th time up the aisle (should have been my 5th, but that is a story for another post) so, I’ve got this down by now. People seem to love to bitch about being a bridesmaid, and I always find it strange. First, aren’t these people you’re doing this for your closest friends? If they are complete bridezilla, egomaniac assholes then maybe you need to reconsider the kinds of people you’re friends with. Or maybe you too are an egomaniac asshole – you know, birds of a feather and all that.

Second, you understand the completely voluntary nature of bridesmaidery, right? If you can’t stomach the idea of throwing a shower, or wearing a dress you maybe didn’t pick, or helping your friend drunkenly pee at 1 am because her organza tulle princess ball gown is totally not urination friendly, then just don’t agree to do it. There are a number of ways to bow out gracefully. You can site finances, scheduling conflicts, a satin allergy. Or, and this is the crazy one,  if this person is really your friend, you could be honest and say that while you love her and want to be a part of her day, you just know you’d be a shit bridesmaid and don’t want to put that strain on your relationship so, ‘no’.

Anyway, I love a wedding so I always say yes. Literally, if you called me – yes, you Internet stranger who is potentially just trying to lure me to a basement to kill me – and asked me to be in your wedding I would probably at the very least consider it. Such is the pull of the nuptial ceremony. I just like it. I like getting dressed up, I like the anxiety and excitement of the morning, I like drinking a mimosa in a limo or party bus, I like taking pictures and dancing all night. Annnnd I guess I like the idea of people taking a meaningful vow to love each other for ever and ever amen.

Laura’s wedding has been a bit different than the others I’ve stood in. Previously, everyone was local, if anything I was the sole out of towner. So there were always a bunch of showers and parties and gatherings leading up to the big day. Which is fun, but somehow not having all those little meet ups before hand is making the big day here feel bigger. Laura’s bridesmaids and old friends and both or their families are spread across the country and over seas so they haven’t had the opportunity to have a lot of the other celebrations. Which, I’m sure has made her a little sad. But in a more positive light this lack of lead in gatherings will mean that Laura and James’ wedding day won’t just be the thank God it’s over culmination of a bunch of other parties and celebrations, it will be the party and celebration. 

Also, we get to pick our own dresses! There are a few guidelines: Black – because how easy/classy/awesome is that? We must also be able to wear a longish dangley pendant she got us as a gift – because awww, presents! And don’t look like a whore in it – because she didn’t really say that, but I feel like it’s implied. I’m going to America next week to look for dresses. I’ll be bringing along my oddly compliant and fashion savvy boyfriend; we’ll take pics.

Below please find me in my previous bridesmaid attire. Please, feel free to post shots of your own shame um, joy in the comments. Please note that these are two different weddings, three years apart. And, yes, they’re both chocolate brown. Also note that there are literally zero pictures from my sisters wedding that aren’t completely humiliating, so, Internet, you don’t get to see those.

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